Lonely

Lonely.


A beautiful Sunday morning, and here I am, lonely and depressed. Why? Heck, I don't know!

God. I hate mood swings. It makes me think that I have bi-polar disorder and I dont.

*sigh*

One minute, I'm happy, laughing the next, I get depressed because I get annoyed or because I'm just not that normal. Like Hnery DeTamble.

I wonder what that feels like?

You're confused, you don't know what you want, you say you're alright nut you're not and people call you crazy and you're lonely. How is that?

*sigh*

Good Day.

p.s. Happy Birthday George. I love you so much.

Confused.

"Broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
I haven't forgotten my way home"

-Broken by Lifehouse

I am confused, mentally and emotionally tired. I do not know what to do. I have lost the perspective to do things the way I used to do 'em.

Stress. Peer pressure. You can never survive without them. Hell, you cannot even avoid thse things. I miss the life I lived when I was 10. When I was curious, carefree and oblivious to what reality sees.

Saturday afternoon. I went to SM Sta. Mesa with my mom and sister to help her get some important files. As we were going, it rained and my chucks got wet. My feet were soaked and my jacket was sticking in on me. It was hell. But we survived. :)

My mother, to tell you is a woman of faith and of many words. She nags (don't all moms do that?) and says bittersweet words sometimes but she's great. We fought a few times that led to me almost wounding my right arm, but we learned to respect each other.

My father, a man who works for a living and I barely spend time with is full of sarcastic and irnoc humor that I got from. We argue a lot but we're fine.

My sister, a child merely of 5 and doesn't give a damn to whatever happens would always be nice enough to lend me her pencils and crayons when I need it. We're fine.

My brother a rebellious ass full of dark humor and a mouthful of garbage that comes out of his mouth is the problem. Apparently, we never agree on anything these days, the main reason I ALWAYS skip dinner every weekday. We have gotten to the point where we realize we are different and have our own different opinions. It's crazy.

At school, I have friends whom I deeply care about. Friends who I trust carefully and where my pressure eases. Sure, teachers come by and give us heavy load but I'm happy for it.

Teacher's never see me. I can tell. I failed 4 Math quizzes last quarter. I am the shy girl who is filled with ideas.

But................to tell the truth. I have never really known who I am.

Good Afternoon.

"Can we fast forward to go down on me?"

Jokes on Me

I really, hate it when people don't take me seriously.

Today my best-est friend thought I was kidding when I told her I don't like people walking fast and leaving me out, i told her I usually "disappear" until they realize I'm not there.

She decided to try it on me. I agreed. She walked fast, I saw a coffee vending machine, and got myself a hot milk coffee with sugar for 10 pesos (the cheapest yet tasty coffee ever) It took about 10 minutes for my coffee to be served, and I thought she was just around the corner. I waited for her, looked for her for about 2 hours, then I left Shopwise angry, disappointed and frustrated. I guess too much frustration and sleeplessness takes its toll on me. I walked home alone, met Daniel A. on Araneta Coliseum said hi, and went home....alone.

*sigh* I cried all the way home because I was so frustrated and tired. I hadn't got enough sleep these days and my projects aren't done yet. I thank Jon for texting me if I'd like to hang out with her tomorrow after our Sunday service. I said yes. I love that girl. :)

I have to lie to my parents who thought I cried because of th tableu. I had to protect her. I hate having to hear negative comments about my best-est friend. The only girl who sees me right through. This is the second time that it happened, but I forgive her. She probably was as tired as I was. If she's reading this, I forgive you. I found my way home alone anyway. If you're mad at me, I accept. I just wish we could have found each other this afternoon.

Ahh, friends. You can hate 'em and love 'em. It's these small misunderstandings that makes me love 'em and uderstand and accept them more. I'd miss these small fights and frustrations next year.

Exams were okay. Except Physics. God, I think I'm gonna fail. I hope not lol.

Gonna make a new article now. :)

Happy Weekends Guys!

P.S. Happy 17th b-day to a classmate and an awesome photographer, Jamie! :) You guys can check her blog out here --> dollstrings
She's more talented than I am LOL :)

~C.j.

Bored.

Life has its moments.

Right now, It just bores me.

Right here, at the computer lab, bored, girls laughing over something, beside me. A geek on my left playing grand chasse.

BORING.

Tomorrow is Exam Day. Another excuse to drink coffee.


That's about it. Happy Thursday. I miss Panic at the Disco :(

CRAMMING never WINS

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Yeah. That's what I want to scream right now. I just can't because well, there are college people karaoke-ing behind me.

LOTS OF UNFINISHED PROJECTS! Major Exams, Failed quizzes, graded recitation, church services. tableu's, and an oral presentation of Martin Luther's "I Hae a Dream" tomorrow.


OH.MY.GOD.

So far, I have no idea how to balance myself right now. All the balls on my hands and my head are about to fall down. And if that happens, I probably wouldn't try to care to pick 'em up. *sigh*

I've been having problems lately about my own class, and my teachers. I just can't say it out loud, and I can't tell Ry about it. It's personal. I don't know really. I don't know why. *sigh*

I lost it. My ball for the "LE.. project fell down." I don't have the strength right now to pick it up.

ahh. God. How will I ever get myself back-up?

I'll go where the WIND BLOWS

"life gets better. and better :) truly, it does."
- Brendon Urie

Sunday morning. Just thought of updating some stuff instead of doing my 5 projects and memorizing my piece for Wednesday.

It's been windy a lot. It's like you can fly a kite or feel like walking in a beach, in your own room or balcony. I've been pressured a lot these days, but now, I just feel that life gets better. :)

One thing I know about my life. I like to relax in the middle of a bad and pressured situation. This week we have our major exams. That's on Friday and Saturday. So, I'll probably have no sleep for 2 days. LOL.

I just finished my 1 hour and a half church service just beside Walter-Mart. I'll be doing that to finish my 20 hour community service, cause I won't be graduating or getting my requirements. Ugh. But still, it's better. Jon's with me. ^_^

Wherever the wind takes me, I'll be there. Although sometimes, I might end up in the eye of a tornado. LOL.

So, yeah. Oh, and CAT was awesome! Well, a bit then it became boring. Ha. Paolo and Kuya Terence were awesome officers. :D

And yeah, "What a Catch Donnie", was awesome! You guys should watch it on youtube. :)
Sad that they won't be making any albums for a while though. :(

*sigh* That's about it this windy sunny morning.

Happy Sunday.
~Cj

History repeats itself.

"For I am here whispering the tenderness of freedom and democracy... I am everywhere...I am you!"


August 5, 2009.

Today, the nation I had lost hope in ever recovering form its incurable sickness has just witnessed history.

And in every tear we shed today, every emotion we let out, we have been called as one nation, to stand up and find the cure to our sickness.

I wasn't born by the time, Mrs. Corazon Aquino had ben elected as a president here in the Philippines. In fact, I didn't even care about anything involving the government, past or present.
But after reading several old history books, i have seen and understood the significance of everything involving the government. Martial Law during 1972 proved to be the hardest thing this country could ever receive.

Until now, nobody has ever forgotten what happened during those times, especially the assassination of Benigno Aquino husband, of the late Cory. Philippines was full of anger and emotion during the funeral of Mr. Aquino, now it seems that the anger has been replaced by love and faith that has bonded us Filipinos, realizing the significance of mrs. Aquino's love and loyalty to this country.

I, as a young 14-year old child with not much understanding in this world, wore a yellow ribbon yesterday, to support DEMOCRACY and FREEDOM she has given us through faith and love. I always keep that in mind.

I saw her personally when I was in my freshman year when she visited the school for some...occasion I forgot about. She was wearing her yellow attire and was very simple and humble in every word and action she expressed. Although I didn't see the significance of that, I always keep that smiling picture of her in my mind.

And today, I had taken the time to write what I have seen right through my own eyes, the love of this nation. I had realized that this nation can still get up and be healed from its sickness if we all know how to give respect to each other and have faith in the Lord.

I am Filipino. And I am proud to be called one. Thank you Tita Cory, for bringing back hope to my own heart.